I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
