week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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