in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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