I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
soo... how was my night?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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