I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think my vagina is haunted
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
