I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
