You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
