Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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