ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
