he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
