so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
