I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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