yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
