I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
