I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
