Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
