whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
