the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
