I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
