just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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