I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
