Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
