Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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