Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
