AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
