I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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