hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
