Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
