Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
