So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
