he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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