New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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