Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
