I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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