THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
