is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm like, not good at living.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
