i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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