Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
