I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
