What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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