bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
