Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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