first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Come see our sink grown plant.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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