He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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