If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
