New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
