it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
