got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
