And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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