Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
