when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
