Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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