R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
