My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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